Sarcasm is my best defence
by Cheshires-Sarcastic-Nonsense
Summary: All the hardest, coldest people you meet, we're once as soft as water. And that's the tragedy of living. Iain Thomas.
1. That's a mouthful

Scarlett didn't know what was worse the look her boyfriend Lucian was giving her or the constant buzzing from her phone on the stony floor to her left.

She didn't want to have this conversation with him. Scarlett kept watching Lucian's eyes dart between herself and the still vibrating phone.

Scarlett launched herself at the phone narrowly beating Lucian.

"Hello?" she said letting out a breath.

"Hello Scarlett, It's Clint from Shield." Came the voice from the phone.

Scarlett let out a sigh and pressed her forehead into the harsh concrete not caring. She didn't want to have this conversation either.

She couldn't help her mind drift to when she first met Clint.

* * *

Scarlett was having a bad day. Again.

She was only trying to follow orders. Some idiot had come into possession of Neptune's trident which belonged to the Atlanteans. However, what had shocked everyone was that The Ancient One had chosen a 17 almost 18-year-old Scarlett to retrieve it.

It had been easy to retrieve it. She had reached out to the current occupant saying she had a PhD in mythological studies and she'd love to inspect this supposed trident. The middle aged balding man was practically putty in her hands.

It was also a tremendous help that Scarlett had mastered illusions early on because looking like anyone came in handy a lot.

So, said middle aged balding man whose name she had already forgotten was very confident he was meeting a late 20's fresh out of University female, not a 17-year-old who was still deciding what she wanted to do with her life.

Technically she had been successful and then someone who went by the name of Phil Coulson from Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division had stopped her in the goddamn car park.

She was so close to being in the wind, then they showed up. Men in suits with lots of guns trained on her although an oddity Scarlett noted an archer hidden slightly behind one of the cars.

"Miss, please put the Trident down" The man called Phil said calmly.

"I don't see an outcome in which I will succeed" Scarlett muttered. Of course, she could use magic but then that'd expose mystic and might piss some people off and Scarlett didn't feel like she wanted to be picking bullets and arrows of her body for the next few hours.

"We only wish to help" Phil continued

"What's in it for me? How do I know you're not going to shoot me once I hand this over?" Scarlett snarled.

Phil gestured to the various men and women to return their guns to their holsters. Scarlett watched silently as they did this and they stood tensely awaiting her next moves.

"And Legolas" She huffed, eyes narrowing.

Phil faltered slightly but quickly regained his composure as he nodded to Clint.

"I'm sorry I'm under strict orders I can't let you keep this item" Scarlett explained and Phil could hear the seriousness in her voice. Before Phil could say anything, Scarlett's hand shot out and she caught the small dart Clint had launched at her inches from her neck.

Phil could barely make out the confusion and the little hurt in her eyes before Clint engaged her in hand to hand combat.

Clint noted that while he was attacking she played the defence card. For every hit, he aimed she dodged just as quick despite this he did not expect her fist to connect with his face.

It only took Phil coming up behind the small blonde and jamming a syringe in her neck to stop her.

"You could've done that before she hit me" Clint said incredulously holding his face in one hand.

"I was just seeing what she was capable of" Phil said with a pleasant smile.

Clint looked down at the woman's crumpled form and sighed, he picked her up and took her over to the jet while Phil secured the Trident.


	2. You got to be kidding me

**Hello.**

 **Well this is awkward.**

 **Just wanted to say thanks in getting this far and any tips will be useful as I'm incredibly new to this.**

 **Anyway. On with the story.**

* * *

Scarlett let out a groan and screwed her eyes shut. Her head hurt a lot and she felt very restricted. She blinked several times to find herself in a new environment.

It looked like and interrogation room. She had never seen one in real life then again, she'd have to be convicted of a crime of that but it looks like the one's on the crime drama she used to watch. She looked down to see handcuffs around her wrists tethering her to the table.

"Ah finally you're awake" A new voice sounded opening the door.

3 people walked in. She recognised Phil and Legolas who stood in respective corners in front of her while a new man sat in front of her.

She noted he seemed tall and of African American decent with an eyepatch covering one of his eyes

"So, I was kidnapped by Pirates" Scarlett muttered looking to the 3. A small smile graced Legolas' lips but no one made a sound.

"My name is Nicolas Fury and I have a few questions" His voice was deep and stern

"I can't promise the truth but I can try" Scarlett responded, head tilted to the side.

"How did you find out about the 0-8-4"

"Atlantis"

"The sunken mythical city" Clint piped up look at the blonde like she lost her marbles

"The very one" Scarlett said with 100% honesty

Nick just closed his eye and sighed before reopening it and continuing.

"Where did you learn to fight"

Silence

"What's your name"

Silence

"How old are you?"

Silence

"If you don't give me something we will lock you up" Fury threatened

"How'd you lose your eye?" Scarlett asked inquisitively.

Fury tried to figure her out. Was this a game to her? Or was she testing his trust

"An explosion" He answered simply

She seemed to nod then a golden light seemed to encase her. The 3 men looked away before it died down and they looked back.

"Woah" Clint muttered.

There was no longer a small late 20's blonde but a tall brunette who looked very young in Clint's opinion.

"How did you do that?" Fury asked narrowing his one good eye at her. He began to observe her. Tall very long brunette hair, brown eyes with grey flecks in them.

"Magic"

"If you don't start giving me real answers you will not like the outcome" Fury said slamming his hand down on the table.

"Sir a word" Phil spoke up looking to Fury and exiting through the door. Fury sighed but followed and Clint quickly jumped in the vacant seat.

"Clinton Francis Barton" Legolas/Clint said sticking his hand out.

"Scarlett" She said quietly shaking his hand

"That's an interesting assortment of jewellery you got there" He said nodding to the various rings, bracelets and necklaces she wore. She just nodded.

"You won't tell on me, will you?" Scarlett mumbled looking very much like an innocent child in Clint's opinion.

"Depends, are we in danger?" He whispered leaning forward. With him leaning in he could clearly see her dark brown eyes with such vibrant grey flecks in them. They seemed to glow.

He leant back when she lifted her chained hands. He could hear a slight clicking and suddenly, the handcuffs clattered to the table.

"How'd you do that?" Clint questioned suspiciously.

"Magic" She mumbled getting up and opening the door and stepping out.

"Don't!" Clint yelled bolting after her only to see everyone in the hallways completely still "What the…?" He continued walking up to where Phil and Fury stood 'talking' and waved his hand in front of their faces but got no response. Clint turned to Scarlett to see an amused expression on her face

"What?" He asked screwing his face up in confusion

"Nothing" She responded shaking her head and walking off.

Clint ran after her shouting for her to stop but she seemed to pay no mind. Sighing he gave up. He had no idea what she was capable of so he decided that it was in his best interest to observe and if need be strike at the last minute.

"How are you doing this? And don't say magic" Clint asked as they walked around the seemingly frozen people in the hallways.

Scarlett didn't stop walking just turned slightly to face him and tapped the strange medallion that had a growing green gem in the middle of it. "It controls time. So, a second for us feels like a lifetime or more for them" came the not very helpful explanation

"Are they in pain? Can they see us?"

"Nope no pain and technically no we're just moving way to fast"

Clint noted she had slipped into a British accent but kept that to himself. They seemed to stop at a closed door. Clint peered over Scarlett's shoulder to see what she was going to do.

Scarlett placed her hand several inches from the door handle and began to twist her wrist to the left and grey energy seemed to flow from her fingertips to make a circle before she drew some more symbols in the air. Clint eyebrows practically disappeared in his hairline upon watching this.

The door clicked and swung open to reveal the trident they had secured on a table in the middle of the room with various men and women in lab coats working on it. Clint watched silently as she walked round to the table so they were at opposite ends. She just gestured down to his arm. He noticed a series of inky black numbers along his forearm.

"Like I said earlier I can't let you keep it but You seem like a good person Clinton and I don't mind helping you out occasionally" Scarlett murmured picking up the trident.

Within the blink of an eye, Clint had a gun trained on her and had pulled the trigger. Scarlett just looked up unamused while Clint watched as the bullets left the gun painfully slow.

"Well you can't blame a guy for tryin'" Clint said shrugging as if it was no big deal.

Scarlett seemed to chant something under her breath before thrusting her hand out causing Clint to fly a few feet backwards and collide painfully with a wall. He couldn't move.

Scarlett sauntered up with a smirk on her face

"You can't blame a gal, can you?" She mimicked before walking off down a hallway with Clint shouting behind her.

It felt live hours Clint was stuck to the wall and when he was about to give up all hope gravity seemed to kick in and he dropped to the ground and the people started moving paying no mind to him.

"Barton!" Fury barked standing down at the end of the corridor. Clint just let out a groan, this wasn't going to be good.

What they did discover was that she hacked newly dubbed SHIELD to erase footage and knowledge of herself before taking the trident and vanishing


End file.
